Brace Yourselves!

Hey guys, it's Abby, I know I haven't been around on HNZ much lately so I'm sorry for that, but I had to focus on a few other things (aka real life) for a while before I felt ready to get back on HNZ. Since November I've been rather busy! I visited New York for the second time in my life (and definitely not the last) and it was just amazing as always. I didn't see Leighton Meester again (she was performing at Times Square on the day I was leaving! :( ) and my grandma was a complete pain in the ass to travel with! She's a terrible conversationalist, I couldn't get a word in, and when I'm watching the news I like to have discussions about what's on and everything she said was just complete ignorance and she was sooo close-minded! (She definitely made me appreciate my mom more, something I thought would never happen). It was horrible, and she could not stop complaining about everything, and when I'm at my favorite place in the world, I don't want to hear none of that crap! haha, but it doesn't matter because after a while I tuned her out and just enjoyed the trip. :) I got to visit the school I've been dyyyyying to go to for the past two years, St. John's University, and WOW, it is amazing! Actually seeing the campus and what it has to offer pretty much just confirmed the fact that it is absolutely, in-every-way PERFECT for me, no joke. I can't wait to go!

I had been accepted to the school for the upcoming Spring semester (which starts on Jan. 22) with a $10,000 scholarship, so I thought, 'Great, I'm good to go!' Well, after looking through things again, I realized that the scholarship money was for the entire year whereas I'd only be attending for a semester first, meaning that I wasn't getting $10,000 but only $5,000. That, combined with my extremely unsatisfactory financial aid still left me with a little over $5,000 I still needed to pay. I tried convincing my mom for us to take out loans, but she was only in town for a week so she was too busy partying and then recovering from hangovers the next day to really pay attention and would just say no. :/

So, in conclusion, I have to put off going for yet another year. This time I'm not as bitter or upset or sad by it because I didn't spend hundreds of dollars on non-refundable enrollment & housing fees and it didn't just happen a few days before I was supposed to leave either and most importantly, I made the decision myself, instead of letting the situation leave me with no other option. And truthfully, deep down in my heart, I didn't want to leave just yet because of my niece. My niece just turned 4 months today! :) I take care of her almost all the time, but I really don't mind it at all, I adore her and cannot stand to be away from her for so long. I hate when my sister takes her to her bf's house and they spend the night there! lol So, I was really sad that I was going to be leaving her so soon, but now that I won't be leaving until August, I know that I'll at least have witnessed her first year (her birthday is August 12) and not missed her first word, crawl, steps, etc. :) I want to cherish the first year I have with her before I leave to New York permanently and she grows up in the blink of an eye! Because I know that now that I have visited the campus, I am more determined than ever to go to school this coming August and I swear this better be the last time you all hear about me putting off school!

So after I came back from New York, my sleeping schedule was finally back on track, I actually slept at night and woke up mornings instead of the opposite! When I came back home I had to deal with my dad who just lost his mom, and my terror brothers off for Thanksgiving break among other things. My mom visited us for a week before she left to Iraq for an indefinite amount of time, all we know is that she'll still be there during the summer. While she was here we had two Thanksgiving dinners because of her late arrival, I actually got to keep my sleeping pattern normal because she would take my brothers to school instead of me and when she actually paid her kids any attention instead of going out partying, she went crazy buying us anything we wanted and taking us out to eat places. My undeserving brother got a freaking Wii! Grr! Now you'd think that with her huge advancement check and the way she was spending her money like it grew on trees, she paid all the bills? Wrong. Literally the day after she left, we had three utility companies come to our house each day asking for payments! It was so annoying because we couldn't even contact her to tell her off! (Something that I am extremely good at).

In addition to all that, I've been working like CRAZY, which is cool because I'm getting decent checks again, but it just makes me hate Christmas season lol, and I'm not getting lunch hours when I should be, and when I come home I'm soo exhausted I just fall asleep where ever I happen to be at without even getting into my pajamas, etc. I normally wouldn't care that I fell asleep, but the whole reason I stayed up until 8 am in the first place was because I had to get my brother ready for school and take him, and when I fall asleep, I knock out and don't wake up until after 7 am, and then he ends up late; that's why it was better for me to just stay up until then. I keep trying and pushing myself to stay up so late after I come home from work, but my body can't take it and I just crash. :/Thus, another reason why I haven't been on HNZ lately.

Oh and today my dad finally told me he has a girlfriend. I should be happy for him, because out of both my parents, my dad definitely deserves to be the happier one, he deserves to have someone to love, he deserves to be better off than my mom, who said she was better off without my dad (which she is soooo not!) But even though I know my dad deserves to be happy by finding someone else, when he told me he wanted me to meet her eventually, all I could think was 'No!' It's not like I want him back with my mom, nooo way, she doesn't deserve him!, but I just don't want to see him with someone else or something, idk, whatever. I used to think my parents divorce was the best thing to ever happen to my dad (he began taking English lessons, he got meggga fit, and began going to church, etc.), but now he's stopped going to church and he parties just as much as my mom does. I think that's why I don't like this girl of his. :/ Ah well.

Oh! Also, it actually snowed TWICE in my city!! And the snow actually stuck for a like a day!!! It was so amazing! Of course the whole time I just kept thinking "Wow, I wonder what New York must look like!" Haha! I know, I seriously have an obsession problem but I just can't help it, I'm in love with the place!

So that is definitely more than enough from me, I promise I'll try never to update this long ever again, I just wanted to sorta explain my absence on HNZ.

Love you all! ♥
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