Warning: This is a Typical Abby Post

I don't mean to steal the thunder from Linda's very first blog post ever, (as an avid blogger who once wrote an article titled "To Those About to Blog, I Salute You" for a high school newspaper, I salute you Linda ;) ) but I figured it was about time for a post from me. I'd been pretty much AWOL around HNZ for a long while, something which still upsets me, and it was always for different reasons each time; and I apologize for never really posting an absence post, I mostly only tell the staff that I'll be missing for a while. The most recent reason was that it was now March and I still had no idea what I was going to do for school exactly. Those of you who know me well/personally, know that school is really important to me and I'm very bitter about the subject of college, or university, as they call it in other places. But for all I know, I'm just a "grass is greener on the other side" type of person who just longs to be in school, but once I actually attend, I'd hate it just as much as most of my friends do.

Anyway, I had an emotional breakdown after having a conversation with my younger sister about her future plans and saw that hers actually seemed to be in motion, or at least seemed like they were tangible. Now I love my sister to death, but school and rules and the like have never been her strong point, ever. And since she had a baby last year I expected her to be even further behind on getting her life together as I assume lots of teen moms are, (no offense to any out there! :x). So when afterward I sat there crying, asking myself what I was doing with myself and why I was letting myself waste time, this wasn't like me at all. If I wanted something I worked hard for it until I got it (such a Slytherin ;) ). I had applied to St. John's a while earlier, but because the acceptance process was so long, the deadline for Housing had past, and since I wasn't an admitted student yet, I wasn't allowed to pay any deposits, just in case I was rejected it wouldn't be money down the drain. Since I live in Texas, living on campus was the absolute most important thing to me, since even the cheapest apartment in New York is completely out of my family's price range; so since I had missed the deadline for Housing, I considered the option of St. John's gone, thus creating more hysteria about what I was to do.

After getting myself together, I started writing the essay for an application to another school, and before I knew it, I had submitted my application even though the deadline had long passed. I don't know why I still decided to submit my application even though the deadline had passed, but I just decided "Oh well, at least they'll have my application on file," and literally the next week I got a call from the school. That's never happened before, a school taking an interest in me personally! We talked on the phone about what else I needed to submit before being officially accepted and I asked about my priority, Housing, and said it was nowhere near close to deadline. This was music to my ears, I cried, out of joy this time, because I felt that I was finally making progress. The only downside was that it wasn't in New York, and it wasn't St. John's, my dream school. Oh well, I could live with that. At least it was anywhere but Texas! (And Ohio isn't that far from New York). I'd go there for one year and transfer to St. John's the next, this was just getting my foot in the door, I could live with that! I soon began getting really excited at the fact that I might be going to school again, and the thought of it being in a small town in Ohio (a place I've always wanted to visit for some reason) was making me giddy! I had convinced myself that this school was going to be awesome and St. John's could suck it for not taking an interest in me personally and thought "That's their loss!"

Then came the mass emails from St. John's. I had officially been accepted so now they were just going through their routine mass emails to newly accepted students - Come visit the campus! - -Don't forget to register at our website! - - Want to study abroad? You can with STJ! - the usual. This was my fourth time being accepted to St. John's so I knew the routine. I was going to delete the emails, I had too many of the same ones from previous times anyway; it felt like a bad break up where I was trying to get rid of old love letters or something. But even with old love letters, I can't help but open them and read them, which is always a bad idea because old feelings come flooding back and then the waterworks start, or at least that's the way it is with me. I learned though that the longer it had been between a break up, the less it hurt and the easier it got to throwing away the love letters (or deleting in this modern age). It wasn't like that with St. John's; I couldn't bring myself to delete the emails, and there I was, reading every single email and then going a step further with my pain by visiting their website and I couldn't take it. I reminded myself what I thought earlier "This is my FOURTH time being accepted to St. John's", was I really going to reject them for a fourth time?! Granted they weren't as invested into the relationship as I was, but really? Four times? That got me into thinking why I kept putting off St. John's and then it hit me. I had always refrained from admitting it but the reason I kept putting if off was because I was scared of the heartache. I was scared of getting so attached to St. John's the way I had that very first time I was supposed to go, 2 years ago, that I distanced myself and I called things off before they could, to save me the pain.

So St. John's was officially back in the running. Even though I had no idea if I could still live on campus or if it was too late for me to accept my place, enough was enough, no more putting it off and living in fear; no more wondering "What if?" I chose St. John's. Even though Ohio was the safest choice for me, it never stood a chance against my dream school. I paid all my deposits the very next morning even though the Housing deadline had passed, and this time things were different, I started getting new emails from them that I'd never read before. It was the new post-acceptance emails, and this time it felt real. The emails were more personal (still mass-sent emails) but more towards students who had made the commitment to St. John's rather than the old "You're accepted, now confirm you wanna come here!" emails.

Things changed from then on. I had chats with Admissions workers and called them frequently for information (who cares if I kept getting transferred to 5 different departments within 10 seconds each time!) And then came the chat with all the Deans. After that chat session with the Deans of St. John's, I can honestly (and very arrogantly) say I made quite an impression on them, I even got asked to please visit their office when I went to campus in the fall. :D And now the emails I get aren't the mass-sent emails but the personal one-on-one emails regarding my enrollment status directly. The chat sessions aren't private since students can just pop in whenever they want, so I know that these invitations and requests for my email address aren't normal, seeing as they didn't ask any other student who joined the chat. /boasting They not only helped me with the usual FAQ's incoming freshman have, but they helped me decide what I should study. Journalism was always going to be my major, but lately I had become interested in Politics, which they gushed was excellent to study alongside Journalism, so I wasn't sure whether to take that as well, or Business. In the end we decided on a double major in Journalism and Politics, with a minor in Business - and if that proves to be too much for me, then the Politics can just become a minor too. :) BEST OF ALL? They pretty much guaranteed I'd have a dorm since I'm a freshman! You have NO idea how ecstatic I was when I heard that!

So it's official, I'M GOING TO ST. JOHN'S!!! Registration for classes doesn't start until June, and they won't start sending out Housing notices until then either, so all I have left to do is wait. I got my financial aid and I still have to apply for a few loans and save up money to go, but I don't care, I'M GOING TO ST. JOHN'S! I can't believe it's actually happening. I said it before, and I'll say it again, this is my year, I can feel it! In a few months' time, I'll be living in the best place in the world, going to my dream school that is so utterly perfect for me. <3 And hopefully in a year's time I'll be getting ready to meet Pattycakes and Galinda for the first time too and we'll all go see Wicked. :D And what this means for HNZ? Well as I said, all there's left to do is wait until June, and now my sister's out of high school so expect me to be on more often, finally! :D

Finally, a happy update from me! :D

~Elphaba

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Leg Hurts - Brain Dead - Life Goes On

So basically this is my first post to the blawg and I feel utterly ashamed of it. Unlike others I don't get the whole blog experience, never thrilled me in the slightest. But if I must I must, so here goes my own rant if that be the word for it. The past few weeks in my own life has been crazy to the extent that my time on HNZ has been minimal at best. I have tried to keep on top of my rp's of course but it does seem unfair to those who wait on me to end up doing simply a post a day. I feel as if even my GM duties have taken a considerable nose dive and I know Nick will say otherwise but I seriously prefer to be doing more. Especially with our Livvy not back in admin mode completely yet and Nickles taking on everything.

We do get lists of course and this was on one of them xD not a bad thing to swipe from the list to do but as I'm not a blogger usually writing as if I'm doing my journal but for all to see is daunting. Who will I upset? Who would I leave out? Lessons are finishing soon enough and then we have exams, the graduating class of Year 9 - must do up Aries speech xD - grading and tons of other things going on as per usual. In my chaotic real life of course I do nothing by halves and now I sport a beautiful black ankle brace, my brain feels fried from the meds I am taking but hey, the pain in my ankle is gone lol.

My blawg seems so unstructured and disorganised, I'm sure Nick will pop along later and correct it somehow xD I keed of course.The birthday celebrations seemed to have gone well, can't believe the site is five years running. How amazing are we!! Yes I stress the We ;) I am so loving the banner that won and the memories that people have posted are brilliant. Would love to post my own but I backed nothing up with post-it's and those that know me best, know I have the worst memory imaginable and post-it everything regularly. xD But if I do remember anything other than how awesome I think you all are, I will be sure to post up there. I did the *five list* and cheated a little by grouping some but no one has complained yet ;) Why are there no emoticons in blawg world? I love emoticons... is there anyone I can complain too about this oversight? Anyhows before I go off on another tangent altogether, I will leave you all be and let you all cross your fingers that I won't be doing another one of these. Hahaha

~ Linda

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Posi-Blawg: A little bit of a positive rant

I try to blog monthly now, though for a while I was attempting once a day (long, long ago), and I recently noticed that, by the time I'm ready to blog again - something has come up that really irks me, warrants a rant, and may come off negative-sounding. I tend to try to put a positive spin on things (like in the Cliques Blog, where I asserted that HNZ obviously has groups of close friends, but the site as a whole is one community). So, never having been one to always like to focus on the negative, I have taken it upon myself to rant, or at least list things off, about how awesome HNZ is, and perhaps even my life in general. ^_^

It is with this sentiment and explanation that I hereby begin... THE Posi-Blawg:

• People are appreciative & understanding:
  It kind of sucks how one person, or a few people, ruin so much greatness - but that's what the people on HNZ are: great. For as many people that really grind my gears there are ten who see my point of view and try to help me in whatever situation I'm in. Sometimes after blog rants (as it is often after people read them that they become most understanding and appreciative - just human nature, I suppose) I get messages from people stating how much they appreciate me, the work I do on HNZ, the staff, the site itself, etc. These messages often come from people who I never would have thought to care that much at all, and they tend to make me smile. Without those kinds of messages, I think I would have left HNZ a long time ago - so you all are truly that awesomely amazing. There are very few people I can honestly say I've met on HNZ and disliked, and those people are gone for the most part. (I suppose if you can't stand an admin, you don't tend to linger on the board long.)
  People are also always willing to help out. Sometimes it takes being approached, sure, but I think I'd rather be approached about helping than volunteer sometimes, too. It lets people know that you value their assistance and likely makes them feel special. Whenever help is truly needed around the board, however, I know I can always ask somebody and if they're able to, they will help - because they know if somebody wasn't necessary I wouldn't ask, and they care about HNZ that much. There are two pages of slaves to the Nicktator members who I figure would all be willing to help out with HNZ things if I asked them. I think that's amazing.
• Everybody on HNZ is there for the same sort of reasons
  We all like Harry Potter, and eventually we all become acquainted with/like roleplaying. There have been very few members who don't, and they don't last long. So how is this positive? Easy. There aren't huge feuds and wars and flaming and such. Things are, for the most part, pretty civil and enjoyable. I think being on a board where at least two common interests are shared between members aids in this process a lot.
• I'm always learning, improving, and there's always something to do.
  If nothing else, HNZ keeps me busy, and has caused me to learn about a lot of things that I could have otherwise cared less about. Through HNZ I have learned HTML, CSS, and some JavaScript/a lot of jQuery. It is through this knowledge that HNZ's InvisionFree skin was converted to a ZetaBoards theme, that many of HNZ's minor codes have appeared, and that the custom webpages (from webpages defining seasonal temperatures to ones for submitting applications) have all appeared. This knowledge has benefited me off of HNZ, too, and now I am much less of an interwebz n00b because of it.
  Aside from that there are all sorts of things which I regularly get ideas for on HNZ, most of which I forget, and so many ways I plan to/hope to improve the board. I think it's great that I get to experience putting little tweaks in to a board here and there, knowing members will take them/accept them as I fiddle with things (unfortunately, live testing has become a habit of mine), and give me feedback as I require it. This is especially true as I see so many boards where admin have good ideas and no chances to implement them as their board dies - or the board thrives, there is a lack of ideas, and then the board dies - or the worse of all possible situations, the ideas presented cause the board to wither away. In that regard, I'm eternally grateful for HNZ and its community.
• People are super-talented on HNZ
  I notice this more and more as time goes on, likely because people are just getting better and better, but whether it be graphics, writing, both, or something else entirely - HNZ has some awesomely talented people who, very thankfully, share their talents with us all and I've oft' smiled because of it. talented people.
• People are nice... and welcoming.
  It's quite amazing how nice, helpful, and welcoming HNZ is considering its size (and how cliquey some people like to pretend it is... sorry... I had to slip a negative comment in here somewhere. ;) Too much positivity is just uncharacteristic). I've visited at least one forum, roughly ten times the size of HNZ in members and over 10 times its size for activity - and I posted a welcome topic. That topic got a grand total of 0 replied until I complained about it being ignored in their feedback forum several days later. On HNZ, I've heard countless times from newer members that they felt overwhelmingly welcomed and knew we were willing to help them with anything. Normally new members get their first welcome to the board on the day they introduce themselves, and soon enough they'll have five or more 'welcomes' to add. We can always improve, of course, but I think we're doing great.

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As you can tell from the above, most of the reasons I can be positive, and most of the reasons HNZ is awesome, for me, are because of you guys. You're all overly amazing and awesome and st00f. Without you HNZ wouldn't be around, and I certainly wouldn't enjoy it at all without all of the above positive aspects of the board, and our community.

I know this blawg wasn't as amusing, perhaps, as others - but I think it was necessary.

So, thank you all, and see you on the board!

~Nick

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Cliques, Clicks... Wait! Who started this?

Over the past several months I've heard too much about this topic, mostly people complaining to each other, some random discussions over IM, and a few PMs sent to me. It seems to me that there seems to be a deluded sense that HNZ is either "one big clique" or just divided in to a whole bunch of cliques, with no real community.

Define: Clique

• an exclusive circle of people with a common purpose
  wordnetweb.princeton.edu/perl/webwn
• A clique (, in American English also ) is an exclusive group of people who share interests, views, purposes, patterns of behavior, or ethnicity. ...
  en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clique

Those are the definitions I will work with for the sake of this blog rant, since I feel a well defined definition is better to work with than some vague one different people conjure up in their minds.

Is HNZ a clique?
No is the simple answer. We are a group of people who share interests (Harry Potter, Roleplaying), patterns of behaviour (signing on to the board), but we are not exclusive. Registration is open to everybody and we're quite welcoming to anybody who looks for help or introduces themselves (I, for instance, encourage new members to PM me and subscribe to the Welcome Forum so that I can say hello to everybody who takes the time to say hi to us). I know that plenty of people who have joined HNZ have felt overwhelmingly welcomed, and this helped dispel some of the overwhelmingness HNZ can hold for people knew to RPing.
So while the site as a whole has some characteristics of a 'clique', because it is not exclusive to only a set group of people, it is not one.

Are there cliques on HNZ?
This one is slightly more difficult to answer. I suppose to some it may appear that there are. There are certainly groups on the board who interact with each other more than others, who have developed a strong relationship off of the board as well and that's great! It's also human nature. Unfortunately, or perhaps even fortunately, we don't like everybody equally. We can't relate to every single person on this planet in the same way, and that's definitely a blessing. So the simple fact that I am close friends with person X, Y, and Z^ed doesn't mean I refuse to speak to, or help, anybody else - and I trust that is true of most people on HNZ.

HNZ's Community Signature - it certainly doesn't look full of cliques to me. Perhaps I should draw some lines on it to separate me from other people and give the complainers the satisfaction of knowing that they're right. Hmm. A thought to be considered?

I wish I could stop this blog post there, but I can't. I wish things were that simple, but they're not. Not only are some willing to go so far as to say their are cliques and exclusive groups on HNZ - but that unless you are in a certain clique, a certain 'in-crowd' you won't get anything on the board. Your applications will be denied, your characters will never be given major roles, you'll never be asked to help out, you'll be entirely ignored by others, etc.

When I first heard that... it hurt... a lot. I spend a decent amount of time on HNZ. I try pretty hard to interact with as many people as I can, get to know people, and with all that I obviously try to be as fair as possible with things like applications. I'm sure when people say things like that, they don't think of who might read them, and who it reflects upon or hurts directly, but I rather think they should start. I was in shock completely and wondered how many people thought that of me, of Livvy and I, and if I should even bother continuing to try with things on HNZ.

It's kind of ironic, too - because the people who I've seen say things like that are the same ones that rave about HNZ being their home, and how much they enjoy the site, and how they like everybody in it - but then they got a few applications denied and obviously it was because Livvy and myself don't like them (not because they didn't put much thought in to the application or its effects on other areas of the board). Or their character didn't become prefect/headboy/headgirl and it's obviously because the head-of-house/admin are just choosing their friends (it's quite clearly not even conceivable that things like that are largely in-character, where lesson attendance and character behaviour actually matters).

Livvy and I take great care to deal with applications on their own, but we don't just consider the application, we also consider:

• Past Requests
• Warning history of the user (if you've caused trouble on HNZ recently, it makes sense for you not to get superb privileges
• Quantity of requests coming in (if 50 pureblood requests come in one week, it's likely that most of them will be denied, even if they're all excellent).

We do not consider 'Hey, Livvy is my friend, I'll approve this plot!' or 'Oh, Julie is nothing but mean to me, I'll never accept this!' - because that's not what HNZ is. I know, for myself, I have accepted applications for people that I know hate me with all of their being, people who I've never gotten along with, people I don't even know, and yes - even my friends. In fact, when Livvy makes a request for a plot I treat it, or try to treat it, just like I would anybody else's request (the difference being that she can see my post, my exact response, and reply to it). I also know that were I to make any sort of request, Livvy would handle mine the same way.

It frustrates me to know end, knowing personally the efforts I go to in order to ensure I'm not seen as ignoring any one person or their 'group', I talk to as many people as possible, will just quote any random person's post in a 'spam' topic and work with it, try to be almost super-human in how I look at and handle applications - then I feel like people just look at it all and slap me in the face by saying that the site staff/admin are just as biased/clique-based as could be.

I'd like to give a concluding example of how wrong this assumption on the part of some users is. Six months ago, I barely talked to Kaitlyn. I mean, I talked to her in GD, I had already given her her nickname of Sir Kaitlyn, but I thought she rather disliked me/was pretty mean to me at times, and barely considered her to be a GM. Other members of the site staff who did know her vouched for her, and brought to light some excellent points (how well she knew the board rules, how often she reported topics, etc. All things which would be useful in a GM). So I trusted the opinions of the others and Kaitlyn was made a GM in January. Before her promotion many of her applications had been approved (though I was rather neutral on her as a person, again, thinking she didn't like me much) and after her promotion some of her applications have been amended/tweaked/denied - just like anybody else. Since her promotion I have gotten to know her quite well, and see her very differently then I did before - I'd even go so far as to say she and I are pretty good friends now. I think that's a fairly good example of how un-cliquey I myself am, and how un-cliquey I see most of HNZ to be.

As I admitted before, it is human nature to group off, find people you're close to, and talk to them the most - but to think that HNZ has an 'in-crowd' where if you're not a part of it you don't get anything from anybody is simply absurd, and, quite frankly, insulting.

I present to you, once more, our community signature:

No sign of cliques there for me. Just a bunch of people who are enjoying HNZ and how great it is, hoping that it will last out another five years. Am I missing something that you see there, somehow?

~Nick

P.S: Additional plug... HNZ's birthday is awesome and ongoing! Be sure to check it outtttt!

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Stressed out and Slavery

As a lot of you have witnessed in my letter, which can be read here, I have been having trouble with my mom. Guess what, guys, it just went from bad to total hell. I am a strong person, and this is a good trait of mine, that I am strong enough to even go through a funeral of my second-mother without crying. But right now, it appears that I have broken, and I have to write about it. Mom and I got into it, yet again. This was so bad, I am not joking. It got me to the point of crying, and just had to keep my hands busy which resulted in me doing my laundry and cleaning up my bathroom.

I don't have much time, because I have to be at Walmart soon. But this is how the fight went:

I was preparing a delicious meal with a smile on my face and I was joking around. Typical, I was in a great mood. Then, mom came in and took over the stove, saying that hers wouldn't take long. I was like, "Okay, I hardly eat as is, and you are delaying it?" But I shrugged and said I would wait. Then, she took her time to issue me with taking out the trash, picking up all the trash around the house. Okay, I didn't take it out yesterday because I wasn't very fond of having my butt struck by lightning. Yeah, I find that excuse reasonable. She started going on about how this house is always in a mess.

Jee, I wonder why. I am always in my room, eating and drinking in here and cleaning up my mess. So, I wonder whose trash I had to pick up, whose dishes I had to wash. (I know I am not being grammatically correct, but I could careless at this point). After I got all that done, mom and I got into a little spat about whether or not the trash was ready to go out. I don't like to waste, so I was like, "Mom, look, you can still put stuff in there." But no, she wanted it out. I told her I would take it out when it was full.

Then, the big fight came. I had only poured water into the pot to start my pasta. After having to do all that, having to witness mom blaming her crap on me, who would want to eat after that? I told her that I lost my appetite, and she told me to fix it anyway. It would have been a waste, so I told her that I would fix it when I was hungry again. She started yelling at me, telling me to put my things away, which I did, and then, she did the worst thing she could have ever done. She compared me to my brother. My brother gave her no respect, he did not give a crap about her, he cussed her out and treated her like dirt. I was silent, speechless. I haven't been giving her an attitude. I really haven't.

I have been stressed, this week is really hard on me. It is getting to the point where I just want to give up in life. What is the point of doing anything for someone when their foot is hurting or whatever, or just out of kindness, when you are not even treated like a human? I am graduating! Exams are flying at me! Calculus is getting about impossible. I have taken her crap for so many years, not even realizing that she was treating me so low. I am a smart girl, talented, and I have been scarred permanently by her and my ex-step-dad to thinking that I am only useful around the house, and not smart, not good looking. I want to be confident, but it is wasted down the drain.

After having to deal with this crap for most of my life, I have opened my eyes. (Which are now full of tears, and I can barely see, haha.) I don't know what to do, but I have to get away. I can't handle being treated like this. I am about to crack, and really, I don't have the heart to do anything. I can't tell her what's wrong. I can't... I have suffered for mom's financial issues, and I have gone almost three months without contacts. I have them now, thank the good Lord. I am in need of serious medicine for my Endometriosis. I need to go to the doctor for my constant pains. Yet, there is no way to pay for it, there is no way to get there without a car, because she hasn't tried to do anything.

She spends all day on the phone, on Facebook, and makes me do all these little things, and those things pile up. They have for the past almost two decades. I apologize guys for having you all read this, but I had to get it out somewhere. That is just a little of what I go through each day. That is not as bad as my past as been, granted I even know what being homeless is like. So, if I am slow on things, I am sorry. I can't RP or do anything in this state of mind. It should return somewhat to normal...within a few hours or weeks. Thanks for taking the time for even reading this.

~ Kaitlyn

PS: Had to add this part it. She topped the day with the big cherry of confidence. She accuses me of being on drugs. Okay, I didn't know I had the symptoms (weight loss, change of attitude so she says) but what the hell? Would I not be doing bad in school and going out to do the drugs? Sheesh. No wonder I am such a meanie. I am on drugs. *rolls eyes* If her actions were drugs, man, take me away! >_<

I am not my brother. Sure, he might be clean now, so he says, but ew! Okay, so when I blew up when you asked that question might not have been a smart thing on my part, but hey, doing something as low as that? No way! I will pass that drug test with a negative (whichever means that you don't have drugs in your system) with ease. Do it. Lovely to see how she really thinks of me. An honors druggie who is also a slave.

Such a confidence booster right there. /sarcasm

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"Mr. Owl, how many blog rants does it take to get to the brain-centre of a thick-skulled brain-holder?"

That is the question I pose to myself a lot. (As opposed to the traditional "Mr. Owl, how many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop?")
I don't have very original blog rants lately. Mostly the same thing over and over. Members need to be more patient. Recognize they are not the only person needing help/approval/a reply/whatever. But still, I get members who want to "remind" me that the application they submitted three hours prior needs approving. Well gee, thanks guys. You're right. I'd forgotten.

I can understand every member making that mistake once - or that some people might not read these blog rants... but it's the members who do it over and over that bother me. Or the ones who recently got in hot water for breaking board rules (yes, sometimes even with regard to the application they are submitting) and then still have the audacity to "remind" me of things. I have a queue, people, and if you're at the back: you're at the back. If you're at the back and you "remind" me: Well gee! You're so nice! Letting all those other applications slip in front of yours!

This week has been crazier than ever for me. Why? Well, it goes like this:

• University Acceptances Received
  • Which program do I accept?
  • Which will most assist me in my future aspirations?
• Scolarship information came in
• University open house -> Convinced me I should likely double major for my undergrad
• Chemistry Final Summative Evaluation. Over 12 hours of work over the past two days. Plus about 14 hours for sleep, and then time allotted for Church, Bible Study, and Family - o00ooo0 look, a full weekend!
• Memorizing my script for my drama scene study
• The TriWizard Tournament

That's just the tip of the iceberg. No, it's not all negative stress, but it's all stress and things I have to do. So I cut back in areas. Chiefly, I cut back in HNZ over the past four days but will catch up soon enough. I stopped processing applications like a mad man. Replied to very selective personal messages and topics as my time allowed. Role-played for my own enjoyment and to destress a bit. (All crazy and absurd, I know!)

In short: ARRRGGHHHHH

~Nick


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"Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain!"

Disclaimer: This is Nick venting. If you have no interest in reading Nick venting or you get upset/take offence easily then I advise you stop reading at this point. If you enjoy sarcasm, humour, and Nick at his wit's end: read on, brave knight!

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This is a three part blog rant. Each part will build off of the last mentioned part. We'll start off slow, with the obvious, then work our way up to my deepest frustration. Then I might cool things down a bit with a few funny remarks, positive comments, or hints about the direction which I hope to see HNZ heading near the end. But be warned: this road is rocky before it is smooth (narrow before wide, uphill before downhill, take your pick).

So, as promised, the most obvious point:

I post updates/information on HNZ for my own good health.
It's true and don't let anybody tell you it isn't! Myself and the rest of the site staff really don't want to keep members in the loop at all. In fact, we hate not having to answer a thousand redundant questions because people have read the Weekly Update and global announcements, or read tweets or clicked rule topics. It annoys us and shakes us to the very core of our being when our hard work is actually used. It's quite absurd, really. We simply post endless announcements (in the simplest and shortest terms possible) for our own health. It's to benefit us and solely us. So I encourage ignoring all updates made by myself or others because really - it's irrelevant to you and you should know that by now.
Note: The above was sarcasm.

Next up to bat:
The Halloween Feast
Part of this may be Déjà vu for many of you, especially if you read my first ever blog post on HNZ - but it continues to persist despite my begging, pleasing, and obvious hatred of this: Members are still using the actual image of something to be their character in costume.
Sure, they're witches and wizards and therefore some leeway is allowed with regard to how amazing their costumes should look. However, let's be reasonable.

Nicolas King as a Banana

That is not Nicolas King as a banana! It's a banana! Sheesh! >_<;

My next point of contention with the Halloween Feast is it has largely been left unroleplayed in.
There have been 30 some-odd entries to the costume contest - and at the time of my typing this, nowhere near to even 30 some-odd posts for roleplaying in the feast. That doesn't seem very right to you, does it? HNZ is still and RPG first and foremost, correct? I'm tempted to not consider any costume contest entrants that are not roleplayed in the feast. Something for me to consider, I suppose, as right now it's not really fair to those who are taking the time to have their characters be there.

Finally, the grandest rant of them all:
Site Wide Plots
Since the Dawn of HNZ (or very nearly thereabouts) people have requested, nay, demanded site wide plots. For what reasons, I am still unsure. They take a large amount of planning and dedication and often they do not allow for as great individual development of character as everybody doing, for the most part, their own thing and mid-sized plots involving handfuls of people popping up now and then.

So, Livvy and I and the site staff at the time (so not Kaitlyn), after New Years, made a resolution for HNZ: Larger plots. More focus on roleplays. More awesomeness.
Simple enough, right? Well, I thought so too.
The fact of the matter is, however, that it is now nearly the end of February and we've held up our end of the deal. Despite Livvy's absence, despite Abby's computer problems, despite all the usual busy-ness (and extra busy-ness) of the rest of our site staff... yes, despite all those things we have held up our end of the deal. We have provided, so far, the makings of an excellent TriWizard Tournament which every member of HNZ can take part in in some way, or some form. We have expanded Ministry/Auror and Death Eater plots. It's currently only one large one, with a few key players, but there are more in the works. Sure, you might not be the one pulling the strings of the plot (Members never are in site wide plots) but it's your job to play it up with your characters! Have them react to the plot! Have it effect their lives somehow! What has it done for the most part? Nothing. What have members of HNZ done with it, for the most part? Nothing.

Even regular things that effect only most of the site don't get the attention they should. Case and point? The Halloween Feast.
Why is this? Maybe people aren't reading announcements that are posted? Maybe people are lazy? Maybe people just don't want site-wide plots as much as they think they do? I don't know. Maybe you should tell me.

With all this extra effort on the part of myself and the site staff, I find it amazing that some members still have the absolute audacity to request/suggest "site wide plots". Applications for various things with the field(s) about site improvement often get a classic line about site wide plots. Alright. OK. We got it! We acted on it! We've started to implement it. Small things at first (though, by my calculations, the TriWizard Tournament is not small) and large things later. But what is to be our motivations for those larger things when these things that we have now are completely ignored and/or used very minimally? I don't see any reason to keep on trying with it. People that are still suggesting site wide plots need to open their eyes and try to take part in the ones that are sitting right in front of them. They only work if everybody is in them, and right now - everybody is not in them. Heck, it's the people who I very rarely hear wanting these types of plots taking the most part in them. Does that seem wrong to you?

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Otherwise, I think HNZ is doing quite well. It's active almost all the time. (Yes, during the day it's slow because of school, but it's never really dead. It's not like many boards where a day goes by with only two posts or a week goes by with no member log ins.) It's exciting, and a lot is happening. I enjoy getting the positive feedback I receive, and I also enjoy taking constructive criticism, talking to people about it, and molding HNZ to become better as a result. I really do love HNZ and I think all you members are awesome. I think, however, that a lot of members do need to pay more attention to what does go on - and not complain unless they know what they're talking about. Ignorance is my chief grief with regards to the site right now.

I caught up on a lot of HNZ things today, and will have more to catch up on tomorrow. I think I'm doing fairly well as short handed as I am - but I'm quite anxious for Livvy's return and the site staff being in full force once more (once Abby gets her internet back up and if/when Linda's busy-ness decreases). I thank every member who has offered to help me over the past several weeks, and especially those who have. I also thank all of you who have listened to me vent and just dealt with it (I know I can be super annoying sometimes ).

~Nick
P.S: I hope you find the title to this blog post as poetic as I think it is, given all I've mentioned.


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